"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes."
Joyce Armor, U.S. television writer
Jenny here. I wouldn't let Hal touch this one... That would just be wrong. The same kind of wrong that happens whenever men say the most ridiculous sentence they could possibly utter... "We're pregnant."
Back to the issue at hand...stretch marks. First there was the Battle of the Bulge, then D(elivery) Day. How could you NOT end up with some war wounds? Your body did an amazing thing and you should be proud of any collateral damage.
Now that you’re on the other side of the border and in the trenches for real, its time to reevaluate how you’re taking care of your equipment. Your bod is the only one you’ll get. Big or small, flab or fab, you’re doing a disservice to everyone around you if you consider it your enemy rather than your friend. Be thankful for the action you’ve seen and I guarantee you'll see the better kind of action in your future.