Mark My Words...

....Ugs are this generation's parachute pants. I have to give my husband credit for this one. He said it last night as my 12 year old daughter walked away from us with a flip of her hair.

I'm pretty sure he's right. About 75% of the junior high girls at Hannah's school wear these modern day moon boots and they pay a small fortune for them. If you're not familiar with them, they look a bit like what Ringo Starr wore in Caveman. (oh, and yes, that is Dennis Quaid wrestling a dinosaur).

I'm placing a bet with Hannah that in 10 years, she will regret ever owning a pair - in fact, I'm taking lots of pictures so that at her wedding, I have plenty of ammo for embarrassment. I'm hoping that she takes the bet - that way, I can pay back my father for betting me that the bell bottoms of the 70s would ever come back in style. For the last time, dad, my jeans are boot cut - NOT bell bottoms.

What did I do all day?

So, today was a very, very busy day. I worked pretty much non stop at my computer from 7:30 when the kids left for school until 5:00 when I picked them up from their activities. Aside from a couple of eating breaks and more than a few glances at my Facebook friends, I really wore out my computer.

The sad thing? I really couldn't tell you what I accomplished. Don't get me wrong. I worked. I just didn't finish any of my work. No - it's even more than that. The kind of work I'm doing now just isn't finish-able. It is more like fire fighting than anything I've ever done and it drives me crazy.

Hear me loud and clear - I don't miss grading papers, but I do miss finishing a teaching unit and then putting it away. I miss the clean slate feeling at the end of a novel. Now, it's phone calls and rounds of edits. It's the messiness of the venture that is so hard to handle.

Working outside of the ivy laden walls of the school is a double edged sword, that's for sure. I love my freedom and I love the possibilities. But I also hate those things too. They are heavier than I ever imagined and my road has more forks than it does paths.

I suppose that I'm learning how very difficult life is - period. Yes, teaching was an exhausting profession that wore me out. But so is this. I'm guessing that there is no easy path - there are just paths. And the only option is to keep on moving foward.

Calling All Aggies...and Nazis

Ok, so Hal calls me in to the living room this evening to show me something "very important". By the tone of his voice, you'd have thought that he just discovered a long lost relative or the cure to the common cold - which would come in handy since Brandon has a horrible one right now.

So, I drop what I'm doing and rush in, only to find him snickering at this video. At first, I didn't understand what it was and I couldn't figure out why Hal was laughing so hard. I mean, the sight of Adolph Hitler and his top advisors doesn't usually qualify as HIGH-LARIOUS, but once I got the idea, I couldn't help myself.

You have to be a follower of college football to understand, so if you aren't, I apologize. You can now officially delete me off of your favorite blog list and tell all of your friends how strange I am. But if you are - and especially if you are from the Big 12, enjoy...

Chain Gang

I recently got an email from a relative who will remain nameless. I can pretty much guarantee you that he didn't read all the way to the end and I commend him for his intent. BUT... it was a powerpoint email depicting several statues of Jesus. It mentioned his grace and his mercy. It showed him dying on the cross and raising from the dead to bring us all closer to God.

All well and good. Until the end. I kid you not, after all of these glorious pictures and heartwarming messages, it says this:

If you believe in God,
send this to your whole buddy list.
If you don't, then just ignore it.
And remember the words of Jesus who said,
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father."

You must send this to 8 people. In 8 minutes you will receive something you have long awaited.

Wha??????? So, you're telling me that God loves me unconditionally UNLESS I don't send this to 8 people? Then I'm going to rot in hell? Somehow, I don't think Jesus was envisioning cyber chain letters when he uttered those words long ago. And just out of curiosity....why 8 people? What if I only have 7 friends? What if one of the email addresses bounces? What then?

I have an idea. Let's do a little experiment, shall we - just to mess with those people who send around these ridiculous emails. Let's start an anti chain letter chain letter. It can warn people about the dangers of chain letters and caution them against sending them. Then, at the end of it, we'll tell them that if they don't send this anti chain letter chain letter to at least 11 people in 11 minutes, then their eyeballs will spontaneously combust.

Business Time

Well, folks, we officially have a new President in office and I, for one, am glad to have all of the posturing and campaigning in our rearview mirror. Today, as Barack Obama took his oath of office (or at least tried to as Chief Justice Roberts gets a little tongue tied), I felt a surge of pride in our country and hope in our new leader. And I felt, like I'm hoping he did, that it's now business time.

And then, out of the blue, my moment of political clarity and acumen left me and I found myself snickering at the memory of another "business time". If you haven't seen this, you must. It has nothing at all to do with politics or world affairs. It is a short video by the Conchords, a New Zealand band who have created quite a cult following through the years.

I'll let this particular video speak for itself, but I do want to call your attention to three key parts that I hope don't resonate with you and your partner:

1. brushing teeth

2. teambuilding exercise shirt

3. business socks

Enjoy - Business Time

Is our attention span really this shor...?

I have long believed that we are a nation destined to entertain ourselves to death. I guess maybe that notion comes from teaching Aldous Huxley's Brave New World one too many times. But, deep down, I was hoping that both Huxley and I would be proven wrong.

Well, my trip to the local gas station confirmed my suspicions. Apparently, our attention spans are so short that we cannot go three minutes without the shiny box telling us what to think and what to buy. Hey, I'm as guilty as the next person. I love me a good American Idol episode - (and between me and you, I'm personally very excited to see Bikini Girl go down in flames during Hollywood week) - but this has gone too far.

Do we really need a television at the FREAKING GAS STATION??? What's next, one in the bathroom stalls so that you can catch up on the latest news while you...catch up on the latest news? Oh wait...there is one there. http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/03/if-your-income-goes-up-will-you-watch-tv-in-the-bathroom/

Oh, Brave New World that has such people in it.

So....Come Here Often?

Yep. That's right. I last posted here in August. Since then, I've been "wookin pa nub" in all the wrong places. Things have been more than a little crazy as I have taken a second job at the kids' school and taken over the position of Hal's assistant at ScreamFree.

Let's just say that I'll be glad when we can find someone else to do that dirty job. Mmmmm....Dirty Jobs......Have you ever seen that show? If you haven't, you must and if you have, you know what I'm saying when I tell you that Mike Rowe can come over and clean my pipes any time. Sewage pipes, people! Come on... Get your minds out of the gutter.

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. I even love working with him - most of the time. He's witty, charming, engaging, and one hell of a snappy dresser. But there's just something utterly unsexy about having to preside over his schedule. It kind of takes the mystery away from the relationship - like the first time you see each other poop. So, I decided to take back the helm of this modest blog - if, for no other reason, to do something totally not related to him.

A girl needs her own life, you know. So, here I am, ready to entertain, ignite, console, and cajole all of you out there. I am searching for a new blog name because frankly, this one sucks. So, if anyone out there somehow accidentally stumbles on this because you were looking up sewage pipes on Google, send me an idea or two. I'm listening.