I am a cartoon guy.
Always have been. Always will be. I guess it is the fantasy and escapism that
sort of draws me in.
As a child two of my
favorite cartoons were The Flintstones
and The Jetsons. I assume you are aware of these two shows. If you are, you
know that they are based upon two families that live in different eras—one in
the stone ages (Flintstones) and the other some time in the future (Jetsons).
The futuristic Jetsons was the one,
however that made me hope, dream and imagine—imagine what the future would be
like in the far away 2000s.
The future always seemed
so bright. According to The Jetsons,
we were going to have flying cars and homes in the sky. We had a lot to look
forward to. Gadgets and gizmos that were going to make life easier, all brought
to life by the time we reached the year 2000.
We are in year 13 of the
2000s and many of those anticipated widgets are widely available for public
consumption. We can engage in a video chat session with people next door or in
another country. We carry around tiny computers called smartphones and have
larger versions of those do-hickeys
called tablets. As comedian Louis C.K. says, “Everything is amazing!” Most of
the these inventions have something in common. They are designed either to
connect us or give us more time so that we can connect with those we love.
Think about it though. Do
you feel more connected today with your friends or family than you did, say 20
years ago? I know I don’t. I have fewer personal conversations with people even
though all of this great technology is at my fingertips. I am less connected.
We are less connected.
From a familial
perspective that is concerning. I want to be around my wife and kids (most of the time). I want to be woven
into the fabric of their lives, but many times I actually find myself buried
into one of my “futuristic” devices. You know, the ones that are supposed to
connect us.
A guy named Hal Runkel,
author of ScreamFree Marriage, says,
“We all crave connection.” We desire it in our marriages, with our kids, in our
extended family and in our communities. Nothing gives us fulfillment like a
connective relationship with someone else.
In my heart, I desire a
return to a simpler time. A time when I didn’t choose to allow a tiny, little
device to morph into a huge barrier between me and my loved ones. If I were
going to be a cartoon character, I’d rather be Fred Flintstone than George
Jetson any day. Think about it, Fred spent time with his wife, kid and friends.
He had a social life. He belonged to Royal Order of Water-buffalos, for
goodness sake! He might have been mad all of the time, but dog-gone it, at
least he was around Wilma, Pebbles, Barney and Dino!
George Jetson, on the
other hand, was always either at work, on his way to work or coming home from
work. What kind of life is that? Sure he had lots of cool stuff, but it looks
like he paid for it. Makes me wonder how daughter Judy and his boy Elroy turned
out. Not to mention Jane, his wife.
Some of us have a lot in
common with ol’ George.
We secretly wish,
however, that we could go back to a simpler time when personal connection was
part of our family’s DNA.
You know what though...I
think we can have the best of both worlds. I believe we can enjoy what the “future”
has given us while holding on to the connection that we really crave.
Here are three ways we
can do so:
1. Be
Present
When your spouse and kids
are around, make it your aim and goal to simply be present. It is not enough to
be in the room with them. Become involved with them. Talk, laugh and listen.
You will always have “something else” to do. Press pause and enjoy those you
love most.
2. Be
Intentional
I don’t know if anyone
has ever been successful in achieving the “work-life” balance. I don’t know if
it is even possible to achieve. Even though the goal may be out of our reach,
we still must strive to be intentional about how we spend our time if
connection is what we are after. This may mean making it a point to come home
from the office at a certain time or scheduling date nights once per month for
you and your spouse. We are only given so many hours in a day. We must be
intentional with how we use them.
3. Be
an Example
Gandhi said, “Be the
change you wish to see in the world.” This oft quoted phrase epitomizes the
personal responsibility that we must take in order to create necessary changes
in our families. Once we decide to change our part of the “disconnected”
pattern in our families, we invite each member of the family to change as well.
From this day forward,
let’s be intentionally mindful of what is really important. Connection.
Fred Flintstone got it
right. If only we had a Brontosaurus bone to chew on.
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