When Whining Rears it's Ugly Head

1. What causes you to hit the wall and want to give up?
2. What tools do you have to get yourself back up?
3. How are you able to reconnect with your kids afterward?

First, when dealing with persistent nagging or whining from our kids, we often "hit the wall." We throw up our hands in disgust, utter words of anger, storm out of the room, or give in. So how can you prevent your reaction that leads you to feeling regret? Take the time to calm yourself before you connect with your children. This takes being present with your feelings and having a parenting plan. One plan to have is consequences decided in advance for nagging and whining. This way, what comes out of your mouth is a measured response, not an unkind and unrealistic threat. OK, now that you've hit that wall, are angry with your kids and just as mad at yourself for losing it, how do you get yourself back up? Try a simple healing technique and, tap, using EFT. Tapping with your fingertips on certain points on your body will release the stuck negative emotion in your body and free you of carrying on with that anger and regret. Ever notice how babies soothe themselves with touch? You can too. Last, after a rift is formed, it's often hard to reconnect. This is when you have to put your ego aside, and acknowledge your child as a fellow human. Without superiority, be open to communicate and apologize for your behavior. Don't over explain. A pure and simple, "I'm sorry that I lost control of my emotions," and a hug is perfect. For you I wish peace in your heart and in your home. When you have bumps along the way, you'll learn from them and will do better next time.

Carla C. Hugo offers Key Coaching for Family Harmony and Wellness. She is a Coach U trained coach, EFT Practitioner, Certified ScreamFree Parenting Leader and graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Do you believe that Peace on Earth begins at Home? Are you ready to clean up your home life and take your health to the next level? Visit my website and sign up for my newsletter. http://www.getcoached.com. I look forward to making a difference in your life either through my coaching program, free tele classes, cleanse coaching and more. Sign up to stay in touch. Request my free EFT shortcut sheet http://www.blogger.com/carla@getcoached.com

Brain Function Related to Stress Levels?

In prepping for my new adventure this fall (I'll be returning to the classroom full time) I've been doing a little research. There's a new class for juniors and seniors that I'm developing called "Communicating in the Digital Age". 

In my studies, I ran across a very interesting article published by the University of California Berkeley. Their research was centered around the connection between poverty and the development of children's brain function. We all know that kids from middle and upper class homes tend to do better in school. There are a variety of reasons for this. What we didn't really know before this study (or at least, what I didn't know before I read this study) was how malleable our kids' brains really are.

The study indicated that the prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for choosing between right and wrong, governing social control, and controlling emotional urges) of lower income students resembled the brain scans of adults who had suffered frontal lobe damage from trauma. 

The researchers say that this is likely the result of two things: 

1. The lower level of cognitive engagement (fewer books, more television, less time in conversation) in poor homes.

2. The higher level of stress. 

It's pretty astonishing to see how environment and biology work together like this. The fact that our kids brains actually change their makeup based on what we do is humbling. I guess the good news is this:

It stands to reason that if we can increase the level of thoughtful engagement (giving them choices, actually seeking to understand where they are coming from, heck - simply talking to them at the dinner table) and decrease the level of stress in our homes, that our children will reap tremendous benefits.

That's pretty cool.

Tip of the Day: Eastern Wisdom

There's a famous quote attributed to JFK that I've heard isn't quite accurate in its translation. "The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis'. One brush stroke stands for the word danger; the other for opportunity."   Any of you out there fluent in Chinese are welcome to set me straight. But until then, I'm sticking to this one. I like it because of what it teaches me about parenting...