Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Curse You, Tony Little!

I feel so dirty. I actually watched...and bought something from QVC last night. I was bored and feeling sorry for myself when in a moment of weakness (and after a huge bowl of ice cream mixed with crushed cookies) I flipped the channels mindlessly. I should know better. In the past, when I've channel surfed like a tv whore I've ended up watching old reruns of TJ Hooker and Saved By the Bell. Nothing good can come of it, I tell you.

Well, last night, I reached a new low. I came across a Tony Little infomercial and while I told myself that I would watch with the sole purpose of making fun of him, something odd happened. The sheer size of his enormous thighs and the sway of his ponytail hypnotized me and I ended up watching the entire infomercial. Sure, I laughed. How could I not. He was selling something called the "Rock and Roll Stepper" - an inane device that looks a little like a sled for midgets and he was surrounded by rock hard babes in lycra with fake tans and plastic boobs - all smiling their way through a "Rock and Roll Workout", Tony-Style.

Don't ask me how it happened, but somehow I ended up buying into his promises of health and happiness for just two low payments of $34.95. I bought the thing. It should arrive in 7-10 days and I'm not sure how I will explain it to my family. Maybe I'll tell them that we're adopting a midget and I want to get ready early.

You MUST watch the video of this, for the sheer visual of me trying to do this thing. My favorite part is the grandma they have in the back who is barely moving. You have to watch the whole thing so that you can hear the host tell everyone that buying this is better than saving for retirement. But I assume no responsibility if you end up being seduced by his 'tail as well. Don't come crying to me if you end up with one too.

No comments: